Monday, December 6, 2010

Just sign here to add to my shit list.

I woke up at 7 o'clock this morning to my wonderful MIL screaming "There's shit all over the floor, all over my room, all over the place!! CIEEEEERRRRAAAAAAAA!!" What a lovely wake up call.

I ran downstairs - still half asleep - and stepped in a pile of dog diarrhea. Yes, you read that right. DIARRHEA.

Now that I'm FULLY awake, I walk hop on one foot around the corner and find - not one - not two - not three - but FOUR piles of this mess. FOUR! 3 on the hardwood, and 1 in my MIL's bedroom (which is carpet).

I cleaned up the poop, mopped all the hardwoods, steam cleaned the carpet, and yelled profanities at Bosco all before the kids woke up.

Fed the kids breakfast, and tried to sit down for a second to catch my breath. Then realized Kenna just soiled her diaper. I run her upstairs, get her diaper off, and reach over for a wipe only to find out I don't have any. Fab-you-lous.

So I manage to get her clean with a wet wash cloth - which by the way, it is very difficult to clean a baby's bottom with a washcloth, thank God for wipes, I don't know how they did it way back when. After I got her clean, I started getting ready to run up to Target to get some more wipes, but Gav had to be at school in an hour so I figured I'd just wait until it was time to take him to school. I mean, she cant poop twice in one hour, right?

Gavin runs upstairs. "MOMMMMMY! Bosco pooped in grandma's room again!" No honey, I closed grandma's door and put Bosco outside, he couldn't have pooped in there. "Well I let Bosco in and opened her door earlier and now dere's more poop in dere."

Oh. My. Gosh.

I go downstairs and sure enough, there's a whole new pile of dog diarrhea waiting for me to clean it up.

I yell more profanities at the dog (not in front of the children, of course) and put him out back with the door locked. I threaten Gavin that if he let's Bosco in the house or goes in grandma's room one more time, HE will be cleaning up the dog diarrhea.

I have dealt with enough poop today to last me a lifetime, and it's not even noon. I need a day off.

Oh - and Kenna soiled her diaper again right as we were walking out the door to get Gavin to school. Another washcloth, please.


Erinsgobragh said...

Oh girl I'm sorry. I'd have helped you clean it up if I lived closer to you. :(

Klove said...

The glamorous life of a mom. I remember I was 8 months preg with the twins when our old English sheep dog had diarrhea in the house...he has really long hair and it got stuck all over his butt, well, like a dog does, he shook real hard and the poop went flying. I almost had a mental breakdown! That is a memory I will have forever. YUCK!

Ashley said...

Oh my god Ciera! I would die. Hope you are having a better day!

kimberly said...

Welcome to the "joys" of Motherhood! I'd teach you the secret handshake...but I think you've got it! lol
Keep your head up and laugh, A LOT! It'll help.

Uyen said...

Sorry you were having a rough day! while you were dealing with diarrhea...I was dealing with cow droppings! yep, you read it right! Cow droppings!


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